We Got the Band Back Together

I sit in my room in Columbia with tears in my eyes as I write this... The worst part is that I dont even know what kind of tears these are. I just got back from the first SUS reunion in Raleigh at Greg's house and my heart is so full and happy, I am overcome with all of the emotions and I can't handle myself. Over the weekend, I was reminded of how much Bike & Build has impacted my life, me as a person, and my future.. and it's an amazing feeling. I was reminded of the way my thinking was shifted after my trip, how I changed, and how much unconditional and true love I have for my team. We had so much quality time together and laughed so hard and yelled so loud that I do not have a voice right now, and my cheeks are actually sore from smiling so much. I didn't realize how much this program effected me until family meeting where we got to go around our circle and say what our highs and lows were since we left Monterey. I thought it was going to be hard to come up with my high and low but honestly, I know exactly how I feel:

Low - my quickly approaching graduation date and extreme fear and uncertainty for the future. The second I walk off that stage, I have zero plans, I have no agenda, I have nothing prepared and it is a crippling and awful fear. At the same time, it's amazing.. I can do anything! I just don't know where to begin. I don't want to get sucked into the job hunt and have to put aside my dreams and goals but I also want to be financially stable enough that I am able to do what I love and chase it.

High - I have never felt such a high and love for life since I left Bike & Build. I have an overwhelming amount of joy and love in my heart for my life and for myself and I never thought I would find a place of so much self-fulfillment. I know exactly who I am and I know exactly what I want and I love who I am. I KNOW that without Bike & Build, without my B&B family and without the wild adventure I got to go on, I would not be nearly as happy, I would not be nearly as confident and it is such an awesome feeling to know that.

I want to chase my dreams. I want to find the most exciting and insane opportunities and go for it. I want to live my life the way it was meant to be and I want to really truly be successful by loving me, what I'm doing and my community. Some one once told me to grow up and let go of these thoughts because they're impractical.. if that's the definition of growing up, I want to be a child forever. I never want to lose the joy in my heart and I never want to lose the excitement of falling in love with everything I do and everyone I meet. It's so easy to forget what's important in life and I never want to forget. Life should be a whirlwind tornado of excitement. My heart is so full right now.

"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us"

-Joseph Campbell